It’s Not You, It’s Me …

dumped

 

It’s not you, it’s me … of course it’s you , you lying son of a bitch is the initial reaction , followed by tears, lots of tears. The inevitable pleading , the rage , the self loath , the abusive drunk texts , and in extreme cases months of social media stalking.

We would all love to think that we would respond gracefully to being dumped. Smile, wish the dumper luck and leave with our dignity still intact. But hearing those hurtful cluster of words, ‘Its just not working out.’ ‘ I just don’t feel the same any more’ , or worst getting dumped by text ( It takes a special breed of prick to dump by text) can only end ugly. Its not just heartbreaking and humiliating , but also difficult to comprehend.

‘ Why are you doing this?’

‘How can you do this to me?’

‘ I am the best you will ever have.’

‘You will never find someone like me ,’

And the classic… ‘ You will regret this.’

Tend to be the staple responses. But once you are done with all the questions , and the self-indulgent shit , ( listened to sad music , cried some more , watched the Notebook, and cried some more. Expressed your hate for the male/female species. Bored your friends with how lonely you are , gone out dressed a little sluttier than usual and done the obligatory ‘ I am having the time of my life instagram post. ‘ Its time for some evaluation.

Why did the relationship end ? 

It’s important to consider , why the relationship ended , and acknowledge your faults in the relationship. It’s not so much a blame game , but more a self reflecting exercise. Truth be told not many people are completely blind-sided by getting dumped , if you dig deep enough you know the relationship wasn’t working .

Also, consider if the relationship was even worth keeping. I know many  people who have stayed in relationships and situations that are well past the sell by date just to avoid being single . Yes, being single may not be a barrel of laughs and weekly dates like the Sex and the City girls made out it was , but it sure as hell is better than being in a relationship that just isn’t right.

Rejection is circumstantial.

One of the most upsetting things about being dumped is the rejection. Being rejected from the person you invested so much in. You invested time , emotions even money for this person to up and leave. But it’s important to remember that being dumped doesn’t lessen your self-worth. Being rejected by this person , doesn’t mean you will be rejected by everyone one else , or that you or your efforts are not good enough . Yeah it may not have been enough for that person , but for someone else you’re more than enough.

Be a better you.

Yes it’s cheesy , and it sounds like the crap your best friend tells you to make you feel better , but being single is the best time to work on you , and be the best version of yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get out, do stuff, join the gym, read a book, get to know your friends a little better. Use the time you once invested in the relationship, on yourself. Be the best of you, for you, and partly to prove a point to your ex. Just partly.

Keep it moving. 

Pour water on the burnt area and keep it moving. Once you have done all your healing , its time to move on. The relationship is done, yes he/she broke your heart, but did you die? Stop dwelling on the past, stop retelling the story of how he/she did you wrong ( Your friends have heard it enough times , and no body else actually cares ). Keep it moving , even go on a date. Yes that relationship didn’t work out, but the next one might, and if it doesn’t just read this blog post again, the same applies.

 

Tolly

x

 

 

 

Style Snaps : Festival Fashion

Image

Festival season is upon us , and if your news feeds have not yet been filled with people raving it up in a park somewhere, it soon will be. 

So you have managed to get yourself ticket , prayed… performed a sun dance , in hope for a sunny day… Now what to wear. I have put together 3 festival friendly outfits to give you some inspiration.

Draft Day!

The America football jersey is just one of the great things given to us by our American cousins. Team with shorts and hunters. Festival dressing 101.

ImageImage

 American Jersey Ebay (Similar Nike) // Shorts H&M // Wellies Hunters

Trainer Chic!

A simple crop top and shorts is always a key look for festival season. Just pair with essential festival accessories ( Fedora hat and sunnies ) and you are good to go.

Image

031Image

Fedora Hat Newlook // Crop Top Zara ( Similar ASOS ) // Levi Shorts Urban Outfiters // Nike Air Max 90 ASOS

Bohemian Inspirations 

This is one of my favourite ways to do festival fashion. It’s romantic with hippie influences. A cute playsuit with a long cover  is a great way to do boho-chic.Complete the look with milkmaid braids.

ImageImage

 

Maxi Cover Ebay // Playsuit Glamorous (Similar Desire) // Shoes Primark

Festival Schedule

Glastoubury: 25-29 June

Wireless: 4-6 July 

T in the Park: 11-13 July 

V Festival: 16-17 August 

Reading: 22-24 August 

Tolly.

x

High Maintenance Women.

Image

I recently read a blog post by Rare-Thought’s called ‘Why I Love High Maintenance Women‘ , and it inspired me to write this blog post. I am a big fan of Rare-Thoughts work , his words give me hope that men with common sense still dwell amongst us. 

I am proudly high maintenance! I told a male friend this , and he questioned if I was trying to repulse men and stay single forever, because apparently being high maintenance is not a desirable quality. Now when I say I am high maintenance , I don’t mean I demand nor expect expensive gifts or to be taken to Michelin star restaurants * although I will not turn down such gestures* .

 I refer to myself as high maintenance in the terms that, I require a guy ‘come harder’ , in the words of Sister Beyonce, ‘ Come harder this won’t be easy, don’t doubt yourself , trust me you need me.’

I feel that certain females have made it easy for guys , by not demanding a ‘high maintenance fee’. As Rare Thought’s put it, its a case of supply and demand ,  and low maintenance girls are letting the side down. If a guy can secure you by simply liking a couple pictures on Instagram, or sending you the occasional texts, why would he want to do more, your starting fee is low. 

It seems some girls have chosen the low maintenance option because of the fear of losing said guy. The fear that if you demand too much he will move on to the girl that will allow him to do less. *Heck I was once victim of this* . Certain guys have also made women feel like being high maintenance is negative, its interpreted as being needy and being too much hard work. 

By being high maintenance , I am not emotionally needy , nor do I think I am a princess ( I know I am a princess ) , I don’t even think I am Beyonce, although I am an avid fan of the motto ‘ Never let a guy treat you anything less than Beyonce’. It just means I expect a guy to put his best foot forward. I expect him to acknowledge my value and ‘pay’ my premium fee in forms of effort , time and commitment. And in return I will play my role , supply the goods and pay his premium rate. 

*I can rest easy knowing that my mum will enjoy. Because my bride price will be high.*

In case you were wondering the Bride Price App crowned me ‘Premium Babe’ status… flicks weave. 

Tolly.

x

 

 

Style Snap: Bloom & Blossom

Not just reserved for the sporty types , the bomber jacket has had a makeover this season , with floral prints, luxe textures and colourful fabrics. It is real statement piece and a great alternative to the leather jacket. 

 

Image

Image

 

 

 

Image

 

 

 

 

I found this floral number on Leather Lane for just a fiver. Leather Lane might just be my favourite place to shop right now , its a market right by Chancery Lane and it has the best fashion finds for dirt cheap prices. I teamed it with an all white out fit to allow it to really stand out.

White Crop Top  Topshop // White Joni Jeans Topshop // Similar bomber Tesco

 

Tolly

x

 

 

 

Style Snap : It’s a girl

I have decided that I will be doing more fashion posts, I am a big fan of fashion, and shopping is one of my favourite things to do, so its only right I show off my outfits. Now, when I say shopping, I mean hunting around for the best bargains, not everyday designers, sometimes Zara sale and Primark will do. So look out for lots of outfit posts, on a budget.

 

 

Image

Image

Image

 

 

It was my sisters baby shower this weekend , and since she is having a little girl, I had to wear pink. I love the full skirt trend. Its so feminine, and lady like and I am all about overt femininity. I teamed it up with a denim shirt to add a little edge.I am so excited that we will be having another little bundle of joy in the family. I had so much fun organising the day, and of course I was the host with the most. I think I might be the coolest aunt ever. Here are a few snaps from the day. 

ImageImage

Image

Image

Image

Image

Tolly

x

Denim Shirt Primark / Pink Full Skirt Primark / Heels Select 

Thirst or Chivalry

Screen shot 2014-01-29 at 16.05.31

 

 

‘The Thirst is Real.’

Thirst is not something new, Destiny Child’s warned us about thirsty guys in Bug-A Boo. Myspace and Facebook had it’s fair share of it , but it seems thirst reached an all time high with Instagram.

Just go on Instagram and within minutes you will see comments like this…Image

Now I know we can argue that uploads like this promote thirst, but this guy said he would kick his mum’s head. Really?

So Instagram aside, its fair to say the term ‘thirsty’ has come along and shaken up the game. The fear of showing any signs of dehydration means that guys are acting a certain type of way. ‘Chivalry died when females renamed it thirst.’

So my thing is when does chivalry or pursuing become thirst?  The epitome of a thirsty guy to me is  ‘ The African Uncles’ , I am sure we are all aware of them. The uncles who refuse to take no for an answer , you give them every excuse possible ( A List below in-case you ever get stuck )

‘I am 15.’

‘I have a boyfriend’

‘I am a lesbian’

‘I don’t like black men.’

‘I am sure you are actually related to me’

Yet they keep on trying , and stay persistent. This to me, is a thirsty guy. We can not compare this kind of thirst to a guy that is being polite or paying you attention. And you definitely can not call a guy thirsty if you are entertaining him in any sort of way. I know too many girls complaining about ‘thirsty guys’ yet replying to texts , accepting gifts and getting a little carried away with compliments.

So in order to clarify when pursuing becomes thirst , I asked a few of my friends and got some interesting answers.

Q: Is pursuing thirst? / When does pursuing become thirst ?

A: ‘ A guy should intuitively know when he is turning thirsty, if you get that feeling that she is just not into you , or she tells you she is not that into you, and you are still pursuing, then it’s thirst. If you are trying and getting zero back , you are not only thirsty , you are mentally ill.’

A: ‘When you start begging , making yourself look desperate for this person. When you start commenting on Instagram asking for kik. What the hell is kik anyway? ‘

A: ‘Wooing a girl , and trying to pursue a girl is not thirsty. Girls love to try and play hard to get.  It’s if you are getting no feedback in the process , you should call it a day and keep it moving. ‘

A:’ When you are getting nothing back. Comments like ‘baby you look good I want to eat you.’ Just stop at ‘baby you look good.’

A: ‘ There’s nothing wrong with a red blooded male pursuing a subject of he’s desire. However there are boundaries. You never want to make the girl cringe , or in fact scare the girl. Pursue, but never scare!

So the general view is that ,it is only thirst if you are getting nothing back. So if she is replying and giving you the time of day, keep at it. God loves a trier.

*SIDE NOTE* Lets not forget , girls can be thirsty too, so your ‘good morning’ , ‘good night’, ‘hello stranger’ messages may be cute to you, but it might just come across as little thirsty.

Let me know what you think.

Tolly

x

London Fashion Week

London Fashion Week!

london-fashion-week-logo

I really didn’t want to do a post on Fashion Week, but being a ‘blogger’ it would be a cardinal sin to let the week go by without a mention. I got the amazing chance to go backstage at the Felder Felder and J.JS Lee shows. It was a great chance to see the hair and make-up looks before the show hit the catwalk.

Although it was amazing to see and be part of, I have decided that I am not the biggest fan of Fashion Week. I love the notion of Fashion Week, but my problem with it is the crowd it attracts.

Walking around Somerset House, I noticed that not many people actually looked good, yes I know fashion is objective and there is no one way to look good or be fashion forward. But rather than seeing amazing fashion, I felt like everyone was a gimmick. A kind of parody of what fashion people should look like. A lot of people didn’t have tickets for many shows, nor had much knowledge on what was going on, but rather went to fashion week to get noticed.

So rather than celebrating fashion, London Fashion Week has turned to a gimmick show, full of narcissistic people with a innate need to get attention

Drop me out !

I came across this video and it sums up everything that is wrong with Fashion Week.

 

 

 

Tolly

x

Benefit Gift Gallery

Benefit products are a huge treat for me, in fact the only Benefit product I have is  the Benefit Watt’s Up! Highlighter which was a gift , and I dread the day it finishes.

One of my favourite things about the brand is the packaging. I always find myself by the Benefit counter in Boots, the packaging design always draws me in, its feminine, sexy and so damn cute.

I was lucky enough to get invited to an exclusive viewing of the Benefit Gift Gallery. The viewing took place in The Gallery, London and it was a chance to see  Benefit’s gift sets for this Christmas. Along side the gift sets, the viewing also including art work by Boyard Messenger. I love her stuff, the collection, POP ART BOTTOMS, featured art work on women’s bum. She was a lovely lady, and she loved bums as much as I do , her art work is focused around femininity and empowering women. I propositioned my bum for her to paint, so my booty could be in art galleries soon.

The gift sets range from £50.00 to £20.00 , and all include amazing products in the cutest package, all ‘wrapped up in love.  These are some of my fav sets, and will be added to my Christmas wish list.

 

IMG_4436

This is my absolute fav. The ‘countdown to love’ advent calendar. It is a one-of-a-kind advent calendar that is filled with 24 beauty treats. Surely this is better than chocolate.

The advent calendar is £50.00 and it is a limited edition sold for one day only, on the 4th of November. It is available on the Benefit website  and selected Debenhams stores.

 

IMG_4430

 

The ‘Love at first shine’ lipgloss collection also caught my eye. It comes in six pretty shades and is only £19.50.

IMG_4428

 

This Best of Benefit gift set is also one for my Christmas wish list. It includes all the best products from Benefits. The primer , bronzer, mascara, cheek stain, concealer and highlighter, all of this just for £24.50. This set is exclusive to Boots stores.

I had a great time at the gallery, everything was so feminine  and pretty to look at , oh and they had cupcakes. :-)

IMG_4439IMG_4433IMG_4442IMG_4444IMG_4440

 

 

I love these paintings by by Boyarde Messenger.

IMG_4447        IMG_4446

 

THE GOODIE BAG!

I love free stuff, even better when it is quality free stuff!

photo (19) photo (17)

 

The bag included the lip gloss set I had my eye one , happy days! The Crescent Row limited edition set, which includes 4 enticing fragrance minis (£29.50) which I am so happy with, I needed new smellys.

I also got the ‘ Groovy Kind-a love set, (£29.50) which includes a mini primer , mascara, lip and cheek tint, eye shadow, blusher and a handy little booklet that gives you make-up look ideas . I am so excited to try the mascara , its apparently the number one selling mascara in the UK .

 

Oh , and as if my day couldn’t get any better , I got my nails done at the event by a lovely nail tech, Michael , who has a salon in Teddington, London. In fitting with the pop art theme of the evening , I went for this

IMG_4449

* apologise for the not so great pictures, I only had my Iphone with me *

All the sets are available from October in exclusive Boots, Debenhams and the Benefit website.

 

Tolly

x

 

Primark AW13

Primark revealed its Autunm/Winter 2013 collection recently, so I thought I should show you some of my favourite items. I love Primark, its the only shop I can just ‘throw it in the bag’, and then shamelessly remove it, when it adds up to too much, but with the price ranging from £6.00 – £30.00, I might actually be able to afford all these items. BALLINNGG!!

The collection has themes of bold prints, tartan, tweed and leather  or should I say pleather. The collection includes, cosy knit , shorts and tailored trousers, allowing a perfect transition from the summer months to Autumn days .

The collection is rather edgy and grown, and it takes inspiration from many of the A/W13 catwalk looks. The tough edgeness to the collection was was done by  Moschino and Holly Fulton .

I am rather impressed with this collection, and when put together correctly it can look expensive and even impress the snobbiest shoppers.

primarkBuckle_detail_shoeboot_16_in_store_28.8_.13_primarkWine_wool_fedora_8_in_store_17.9_.13_primarkPeekaboo_panel_blouse_10_in_store_18.8_.13_primarkCobalt_paisley_jacquard_short_12_in_store_3.10_.13_primarkBuckle_strap_burgundy_court_14_in_store_11.7_.13_primarkOversized_coat_25_in_store_6.9_.13_primarkaw13PUquiltedzipminiskirt10instore21.8.13primarkaw13blackbralette_FR_1primarkaw137greentrouser£18primarkBlue_kimono_15_in_store_14.7_.13_primarkBaroque_short_10_in_store_8.7_.13_primarkaw13Crackledpatentfullskirt14instore19.9.13

 *Sidenote* The red and black heels , are really cute to look at, but I actually wouldn’t advise my worst enemy to get them. I am sure the devil himself makes Primark heels, the pain is very real!

Tolly.

x

Wedding attire

I love weddings, although I am slowing starting to suffer from ‘always the bridesmaid, never the bride’, but hey my time will come **fingers, toes and every damn thing crossed.**

I went to a wedding this weekend, so I thought I should show you what I wore, and also add a face to the blog.

 

Image

 

Dress: H&M
Shoes: Zara 

(Both items were on sale, so I don’t have a link to share )

I really need to start shopping for wedding attire. I am getting invited to a lot more weddings, and my wardrobe is just not cutting it.

Image

 

Hair Colour : Crazy Colour  (Vermillion Red)

Lipstick : Lord & Berry (Mandarino)

Like I said before, I was not in love with the short weave I did at the salon, so I did a bit of DIY, and installed a upart wig with a closure, and dyed the weave from brown to red.

I curled my hair using Babyliss Pro Perfect Curl, my new favourite toy. Have a look at the link to see how it works, you need to see it to believe it.

 

Tolly 

x